I didn't realize this was going to be a two parter, but low and behold it is! Before I get started on Part II, let me take this moment to remind you that spell check isn't working, so please forgive any misspellings of which I am sure there will be many (for instance, is that how you spell misspell? or is it mispell? They both look wrong.)
Okay, so there is really more to the story than my disdain for dating. In fact, that is really only a secondary reason for why I'm not dating. The main reason is that I'm perfectly happy single. Sure, my life isn't so exciting (see here), but that is just fine with me. I had a life that with so fraught with drama and excitement that I couldn't handle it (if you'd like a glimpse into this, see here.) I like things the way they are. I like that if I make a mess, it is my mess. I am not bothering anyone else with my mess. I can choose to clean said mess whenever I feel like it, but the most important part is that it is my mess. I like that. I like the fact that if the milk is gone, it is because I drank the last of it. This doesn't mean that I would not be willing to give up some of this control if it meant that I had a wonderful parter who made messes and drank the last of the milk, it just means that I am a little bit hesitant to do that. I'm pretty content with the status quo, so I'm not out actively pursuing a milk-finisher. I guess that is really the main reason I'm not dating -- I'm whole all by myself. I'm a great milk-finisher.
For me, a good relationship would be one where I took care of the house, paid half of the bills, and he took out the trash and hung out with me with. Companionship is really all I want. I don't need to be taken care of financially or emotionally. I'm doing just fine. I don't even mind taking care of someone I love -- in fact, I kind of like it. I just want someone who won't cause me much emotional strain. I've done that -- I've done that so much that I broke it. I got it fixed, but I don't like it when my emotions are broken, no siree, so I don't want to do that again. That doesn't mean I'm scared to be in a relationship, it just means that in my history, relationships have had tremendous costs with very little benefits (I guess I'm back to the theme of Part I), and I know that by myself the costs are very low. And don't you start with the whole 'but what about the benefits' malarkey -- I know it is just that. Why would I actively seek something that disrupts my happy existence? I wouldn't, so I'm not. And that, my friends, is the real reason I'm not dating.
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2 comments:
Well, i read part one, and a few of those other links. I was looking for someone who thought being alone was ok..a lot of my friends are getting married. Anyway i think your reasons are sound and make sense. I think relationships are overated anyway...
I've been wondering if I know you, dmwikisa. If I do, let me know!
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