Dexter

I don't know how I missed this show. Okay, yes, I do. I don't have cable, so even if I had known of its existence, I couldn't have watched it. It is really good. And troubling. I can't believe how sympathetic the main character, who is also a serial killer, is. I really like him and am bothered by him at the same time. The show also makes me wonder how many sociopaths I've encountered in my life. It was once suggested to me that my ex husband might be a sociopath. It wouldn't surprise me. Not the murdering thing, but the not feeling thing. Anyway, Dexter is good, and it is on DVD and streaming video on Netflix. You should check it out (but not you Kristy, you don't like blood -- not that I like blood, but I am not bothered by it in movies -- crap, maybe there is something wrong with me too!)

Dreams

I frequently have weird dreams. Perhaps everyone's dreams are weird, but so few of us remember them that the ones we do remember seem especially odd. That being said, I seem to remember nearly all of my dreams, or at least pieces of them, and they all seem odd. Some, however, are stranger than others, and I am constantly wondering what they mean. The logical part of me assumes that if I dream of ice cream it is because I like ice cream or I was thinking of ice cream before I fell asleep -- it just seems so irrational to believe that a dream about ice cream means that I am satisfied with my life (which according to the Dream Moods Dictionary, it does) -- how do all people on this planet automatically know that ice cream is indicative of happiness in one's life? Do all people in the world love ice cream? Why doesn't cake mean contentment if one dreams about it? Don't all people like cake? (FYI: "To see a cake in your dream, indicates that you need to learn to share and allocate your workload instead of trying to do everything yourself. Cakes also symbolize selfishness or the feeling of not getting your fair share.")

Despite my reservations, I have a history of dream analysis being correct. A few years ago I dreamt I was swimming nearly every night. The dreams otherwise varied, but in each one I was swimming. Sometimes I was in a pool, sometimes in the ocean -- the only common denominator in the dreams was that the water was never scary or uncomfortable, and that I was swimming. I had these dreams so frequently that I even asked my therapist if she knew anything about dream analysis. She didn't, and I had a lot going on, so I didn't worry about it. After the dreams ended, I looked up the meaning. According to every single dream 'dictionary,' dreams of swimming are extremely common for people going through therapy. Voila! For the year that I had the swimming dreams, I was in therapy at least three hours a week. After this experience, I was hooked. Logic be damned.

So, what have I been dreaming about lately? Well, I had two dreams with alligators in them and two with spiders. Those are the only themes, and they aren't great ones. In the first alligator dream, a huge alligator was trying to break into my grandmother's house. (Isn't it funny how things that don't make any sense in real life make sense in your dreams?) My sisters and I were the only ones home when this was happening, and we went upstairs to hide in the bathroom. I can remember feeling the house shake as the alligator tried to force his way in. I realized my cat Finnegan was in the hallway, so I ran out to get him and then I woke up. (On a side note, I only ever dream about one of my cats... isn't that odd?). In the second alligator dream (which happened a few nights later), I was at Wal-Mart getting my oil changed. The waiting room for oil changes was the same as the taxidermy department. All of these people were standing around waiting to get their animals taxidermied by the Wal-Mart taxidermists, but the animals were all alive. They looked dead -- all limp and lifeless -- but they weren't. When I saw all of these dead deer looking at me, I freaked out and started to run away, and just like in horror films, everywhere I turned were more living dead animals. It was soooo scary. The last one I ran into was an alligator that attacked me. It took a hunk out of my thigh.

So, what does all of that mean? I'm not sure. Here's what the Dream Moods Dictionary says about it:

To see an alligator in your dream, symbolizes treachery, deceit, and hidden instincts. It may be a signal for you to take a new perspective on a situation. It may also represent your ability to move between the material world of waking life and the emotional, repressed world of the unconscious. Alternatively, the alligator represents healing powers and qualities.

To dream that you are running away from the alligator, indicates that you are unwilling to confront some painful and disturbing aspect of your unconscious. There is some potentially destructive emotion that you are refusing to acknowledge and owning up to.

According to biblical interpretations, an alligator suggests that leviathan is king over the children of pride. (Psa 74:14, Job 41:1,Isa 27:1)

In the first of my spider dreams, I had to eat this huge nasty spider to stop something bad from happening. I did, but it was horrible. I had that one a few weeks ago, but a couple of nights ago I had another spider dream. In this one I had to wear this costume that had this poisonous spider in it. I don't know why I had to wear it or why it had to have this spider. I was told there was no way the spider could hurt me, but it did. I had this horrible bite on my chest, and I was told I would die and there was nothing that could be done. I wasn't in any pain. All I remember was that I wanted to tell my mom that I loved her.

Here's what the Dream Moods Dictionary says:

To see a spider in your dream, indicates that you are feeling like an outsider in some situation. Or that you may want to keep your distance and stay away from an alluring and tempting situation. The spider is also symbolic of feminine power. Alternatively, a spider may refer to a powerful force protecting you against your self-destructive behavior. If you kill a spider, it symbolizes misfortune and general bad luck.

To dream that you are bitten by a spider, represents a conflict with your mother or some dominant female figure in your life. The dream may be a metaphor for a devouring mother or the feminine power to possess and entrap. Perhaps you are feeling trapped by some relationship.

In the first spider dream I killed the spider by eating it. In the dream I had to, but according to this, it is bad luck. In the second, I was bitten, but I wanted to find my mother. How odd.

Chica Blanca Bathroom Progression

Chica Blanca Update!

As many of you know, I've been renovating my bathroom (and by "I", I mean the contractor). The demolition began on December 3rd, and except for one little thing, it was finished last week. Not surprisingly, the project was not on time or under budget (thank god I am not paying for it!). Now, I only have one bathroom in my house, so having the project take so long was a tiny bit difficult, to say the least.

Here you can see just how beautiful the bathroom was before construction began. Notice the mismatched tiles by the bathtub! Oh, and the ceiling was glossy aqua blue as well.

No Blogging

Wow, I didn't realize just how long it had been since I last posted something. Honestly, I don't know why I wasn't posting anything in December, but I'll use the holiday excuse: I was just so busy with the holidays, and blah blah blah. However, I do have a great reason for not blogging in January... this month has been INSANE! Work has been out of control, and with all the writing I do at work, I just didn't have it in me to write about my life. I didn't even have the energy to talk about my life! January is almost over, and my life is nearly back to normal, so I will now attempt to go back and blog about some of the interesting things I have observed or experienced over the past two months. Cheers!

Edited to add: I realized why I hadn't been posting... my mom broke her hip, so I was going to my parents' house all of the time. That, coupled with the holidays and the bathroom reno, caused me to be super busy from Thanksgiving until now. Wow, I did have a reason!