Memories?

I have a tendency in life to remember things in a positive light. My father does this, and I have always admired this in him. He thinks back fondly of a childhood that many others might use as an excuse for all that happened to them. Being able to look back over your life with rose tinted glasses seems the ideal thing to do. After all, the past is the past and what good could it possibly do to focus on the negative?

For instance, if you are reflecting back on a trip you took, it behooves you to not think about the sunburn you got, and to only remember the really fantastic parts of the vacation. But there are some instances where only remembering the good really sucks. Don't get me wrong, I think if given a choice, it is better to remember the good things than to recall only the bad; however, some times I wish I did a better job of tempering some of the good with a little of the bad. Most notably with relationships. My ex-boyfriend/best friend reminded me of something that occurred whilst we were dating. Did I have any recollection of this? Nope. In my world, our relationship was just fine and then we grew apart. This was clearly not the case, but that's how I remember it. In this case, it is fine. It isn't hurtful for me to look back fondly on the time we spent together as a couple. But in the case of my ex-husband, it would be beneficial if I ONLY remembered the bad stuff because then I wouldn't miss him so much. I try to remember something mean he did anytime a positive thought about him pops into my head, but it doesn't always do much good.

The same is true for a recent relationship I had. I generally only think about the person with great fondness, but I realized the other day that I had totally forgotten the jerky things he did while we were dating. Somehow I had romanticized the relationship to this point where I thought it should have worked out. How silly am I?

August

Well, August is nearly over (I think tomorrow is September 1st, actually), and I've not written one entry. I've had lots of good thoughts, but not really a lot of time or extra energy. So what have I been doing? Let's see: I moved all of my furniture to my basement (and by 'I' I mean my dad moved nearly all of my furniture to the basement) and had my hardwoods refinished. The floors are amazingly beautiful. I am really pleased that I had them done even though getting them done was a huge pain. The original company I hired flaked at the last minute, but I found another company who were able to fit me in. They did a wonderful job, and I am so thankful that I found them. I then painted my baseboards and installed quarter round right before leaving for vacation. Upon my return from an amazing trip to Banff , I threw myself a birthday party, which was great fun. I've since been getting caught up at work, which has been killer lately. As if that were not enough, I resigned my current position on Friday. I will start teaching a few writing classes in a couple of weeks. Needless to say, I'm exhausted. I'm hoping that in September I might get to type out some of the things I considered writing about in August.

Spike!

Isn't he super cute!? The buns rarely sit still long enough for a good photo, but I snapped this one the other night while he took a break from munching on his hay.

But We're Not Friends

I went out to dinner with a guy last Thursday night. I wasn't too sure if I was interested, but I didn't have that immediate 'no way' reaction, so I thought giving it one more chance was a good idea. He asked me to let him know when I was available to get together again. I told him I would let him know when I got back in town (this was 4th of July weekend). Yesterday I shot him an email letting him know that my week is nuts and suggesting we could get together next week. I quickly got a polite response letting me know that over the weekend he started dating a girl he'd seen a few times. That was fine with me, as I wasn't sure if I was interested in this guy anyway. I sent a response wishing him luck in his new relationship. A few hours later I received this message:

"If you have any interest in a friend with benefits let me know."

My jaw literally dropped when I read this. This is wrong on so many levels. So, he doesn't want to date me, but he wants to sleep with me? Oh, yeah, sure, you don't need to take me out or get to know me, I'm the kind of girl who will happily just sleep with you whenever you want. Yeah, my self-esteem is that low. I'm mean, we aren't even friends, for crying out loud. I realize I've only ever heard of such relationships, but I always thought that being friends was sort of part of it. Maybe I'm just naive. If that is the case, this is the kind of naive I want to be.

And what about this girl he is dating? Where does she figure into all of this? God, what a jerk.

Kickball

The Dolls and Balls (actually 'Dolls n Balls' but I refuse to not spell 'and' out) won our first game last night. I cannot believe just how fun playing kickball really is. I'm not sure if it would be as fun if our team wasn't so great. Sure, we are decent kickball players, but when I say great, I mean as a bunch of people. We worked together as a cohesive unit. Everyone was helping out, cheering and generally working together. It was a great display of teamsmanship, if I do say so myself.

I wish I was as savvy a sports blogger as some I know, and could go into great detail about what happened, but I cannot. Here are the most salient details of game one, in my humble opinion (that means they are all about me, just so you know!):

1. We won!
2. As second base person I got tons of people out, which rocked.
3. I jammed my finger, which sucked. I'll be sure to take a picture and post it cause it is NASTY!
4. I have a tendency to kick right to the pitcher, which means I get out; however, I am getting better with my tactical kickball kicking skills.
5. Did I mention that we won?!

I am really looking forward to game two next week. Here's hoping it isn't rained out...

Bug Bites Can Be Bad

Last Thursday was a beautiful day, so I ate lunch outside and sat outside after work. At some point in the evening, I received what ended up being quite a bug bite (you'll see why). I first noticed said bug bite when it began to itch. I slathered on my trusty anti-itch gel that I have to have sent to me from overseas (they don't sell it in a gel form in the US. You can, however, get a prescription for it in a liquid suspension). This anti-itch stuff is amazing. It is a gagillion times better than any anti-itch stuff you can buy in the US. I first discovered it on a trip to Italy where I hosted a Suzanne Buffet for the local mosquitoes (thank god I didn't get roman fever, not that I think they still have malaria in Italy), and I've been hooked ever since.

Anyway, I digress. I used the gel, but my neck welt still itched. I used more and went to sleep. The next morning, it itched, but when I scratched it, it sort of hurt. I put more gel on it. Throughout the next day or so, it bothered me. At some point, I scratched it and a sort of crusty center came off. After that it sort of stopped itching. I remember thinking this was odd -- mosquito bites normally don't have crusty centers like say spider bites do, but spider bites don't normally itch. The weekend progressed, and the welt got bigger. By Sunday night there was a red line radiating out of the quarter sized welt on my neck. I now have what I think is a case of what I think is blood poisoning.

I don't know why I never get normal illnesses like, oh say a cold, but I don't. I get weird things like hot tub rash and a fructose malabsorption disorder. I went to the doctor yesterday, and he prescribed an antibiotic that will get rid of everything from "lyme disease and rocky mountain fever to staph or other skin infections." He didn't diagnose me with blood poisoning, but clearly there is some sort of subcutaneous infection. I guess I can just say that I have a neck infection. Lovely.

Deal Breakers

I was recently asked what my deal breakers were (in regards to dating, of course). At the time, I couldn't think of any. I tend to be reasonably positive, so I don't usually think in terms of what I can't stand (although somehow I always end up being reasonably superficial in the end!). Since this question was posed, I have been more aware of my deal breakers, so here they are, in no particular order:

1. Lying. I think all my dating posts make this one clear. I can't stand liars!
2. Being 'anti-choice.' I say this with one caveat: if you don't really feel strongly about this issue, and we disagree it probably isn't a big deal, but if that were the case, the issue would most likely not come up. For instance, I have no clue what my father thinks about this, even though I am very aware of his stance on other social issues.
3. Being allergic and/or disliking cats (or pets, for that matter). I've done this, and I am not doing it again.
4. Making comments about my neighborhood. For some odd reason, men feel compelled to make comments on where I live. If you are not my father, you don't get a say on where I live. Heck, my father doesn't even get a say. I don't understand why so many guys I go out with think they can say something about this from the outset. Considering they are 'wooing me,' as it were, you'd think they'd know enough to keep snide comments about my neighborhood to themselves. I even had one man suggest I be sure to lock my car doors whilst driving in my neighborhood so as to not get car jacked. I am unaware of any car jackings in my neighborhood, but people have this horrible perception that if an area is predominantly black, it is dangerous, and it pisses me off.
5. Suggesting my pet bunnies be made into rabbit stew and/or bringing up how yummy rabbit stew is around me. I don't get it, but for whatever reason rabbit stew is what the majority of men I meet bring up when they discover I have pet rabbits. I've never had rabbit stew. Who knew it was so prolific amongst American males. Bottom line, joking about eating my bunnies just isn't funny. It wasn't funny when my dad said it years ago, and it still isn't funny.

That's it. Those are the five things that I CANNOT stand. If I have not fallen in love with you and I discover one of those five things, you are out the door. If, however, I have fallen in love with you and then I discover one of those five things, it may be a different story... Well, except for the lying thing.