Memories?

I have a tendency in life to remember things in a positive light. My father does this, and I have always admired this in him. He thinks back fondly of a childhood that many others might use as an excuse for all that happened to them. Being able to look back over your life with rose tinted glasses seems the ideal thing to do. After all, the past is the past and what good could it possibly do to focus on the negative?

For instance, if you are reflecting back on a trip you took, it behooves you to not think about the sunburn you got, and to only remember the really fantastic parts of the vacation. But there are some instances where only remembering the good really sucks. Don't get me wrong, I think if given a choice, it is better to remember the good things than to recall only the bad; however, some times I wish I did a better job of tempering some of the good with a little of the bad. Most notably with relationships. My ex-boyfriend/best friend reminded me of something that occurred whilst we were dating. Did I have any recollection of this? Nope. In my world, our relationship was just fine and then we grew apart. This was clearly not the case, but that's how I remember it. In this case, it is fine. It isn't hurtful for me to look back fondly on the time we spent together as a couple. But in the case of my ex-husband, it would be beneficial if I ONLY remembered the bad stuff because then I wouldn't miss him so much. I try to remember something mean he did anytime a positive thought about him pops into my head, but it doesn't always do much good.

The same is true for a recent relationship I had. I generally only think about the person with great fondness, but I realized the other day that I had totally forgotten the jerky things he did while we were dating. Somehow I had romanticized the relationship to this point where I thought it should have worked out. How silly am I?