Dating Sucks

Well, I've cancelled my eHarmony subscription. To be honest, it really hasn't lived up to the hype. Perhaps it's just me, but I certainly haven't met anyone I really felt compatible with. I guess having personality types that mesh well together is important, but I'm not sure if that is more important than shared values or interests or say being honest.

I don't understand why honesty is so difficult for some people (I was about to say men when I realized I have no idea if women are online dating liars or not -- I certainly try not to be!). I have been amazed at the number of men I did not recognize when they showed up for our 'meeting.' I am certainly glad that I look like my pictures because otherwise I would have walked right by the majority of the men I've met. I understand the reason for using your best photograph, but it really should look a bit like you!

This, however, is not as disconcerting as the men who lie about their height. I have found that except for the men who are really tall, most men have added an inch or so to their height (or I've grown since the last 5'10" guy I dated). I met a fellow who claimed to be 5'7". This was already a tad short for me. I am 5'6" and ideally I'll meet a guy who is tall enough that I can comfortably wear heels with, but I have been trying to date men I might not normally be interested in, in the hopes of finding someone great (and in an effort to break from type -- clearly the guys I am normally attracted to aren't turning out to be all that great) Anyway, back to the 5'7" guy... or should I say the 5'5" guy. I was taller than him in flip flops - he had on actual shoes, so he was even shorter than he seemed. And he is not the only guy to lie about his height. I just don't get it. Do they think women are so dumb, they won't notice? For me, lying is a big deal breaker, even if it is just about height. Quite frankly, if you are going to lie about something little like that, you are probably lying about something big too.

The shocking thing is many of these guys I'm supposed to fit with personality wise are really not interesting to me in the least. One guy wanted me to know how I felt after two very casual meetings (both an hour long). Not only did he want me to know how I felt, he wanted me to tell him. I didn't know, so I went with "next!" Way to force the issue, dude! Another guy (one of the height liars) was 15 minutes late. If I had not been enjoying my cup of tea (a Pixie Mate Latte actually), I would have already left by the time he showed up. Why was he late? He needed to change his shirt. Oh, yeah, that's worth insulting a prospective date. And then he acted like he was the coolest guy ever, even though he was short AND a big dork. Groan. Then there was the 36 year old who admitted he'd not ever been financially stable enough to own a house. And he went on and on about how he liked to play softball, and wouldn't it have been great if he'd been good enough to play baseball, and on and on. Why admit all your failings right out of the gate? Oh, did I mention he drove a white Mazda Miata? Don't even get me started on cars, but c'mon dude, you drive a girl car.

I realize a lot of this is very superficial, but with each of these men, there hasn't been any sort of connection. Even if short dude #1 hadn't been short and a liar, he still would have pressured me to make a decision. Even if short dude #2 hadn't been short and a liar, he still would have thought changing his shirt was more important that being on time. And even if Mr. Mazda Miata had driven an Accord, he still would have had low self-esteem.

There have been men I've met who were totally honest, looked like their picture, were self-assured, etc, etc, but unfortunately I haven't felt a connection with those guys either. I think I've come to the conclusion that personality isn't that great of a predictor of chemistry.