The Infamous Rake Story (12/2/06 -- originally titled "Maybe I don't kick as much ass as I thought")

At least in the not hurting myself department. Much in the vein of several wonderful women before me (you know who you are!) I managed to give myself a black eye today. How you ask? Well, I was putting something away in the basement and managed to step on the tines of a rake. Not a leaf rake, a rake for tilling or whatever it is called. When I stepped on said rake, its handle smacked me in the face. Now before you get ahead of yourself and assume I'm a total retard, the rake was up against the wall, not resting on the floor, so it isn't like I had time to move out of the way. I honestly cannot believe that this cartoon-like black eye-ery occurred to me this afternoon. To add to the cartoon like nature, I actually saw stars. Luckily, no large lump appeared. Instead I have a black eye that I am sure many people tonight believe my [edited to add, formerly] lovely boyfriend gave me. Oooh, be sure to view the soon-to-be posted photo!

How and why I kick ass (11/16/06)

I am really kick ass.

Okay. Now I am assuming you want to know why, but first I need to say something. I honestly hadn't intended on having a blog. I believe I outlined the reasons against me blogging in my first blog. I really wish there were other words for blog than blog because I am currently using the word too much. Okay, I digress... I am continuing this silliness because apparently some silly best friend of mine likes it. So, now on to why I am really kick ass.

There are two reasons I am kick ass this week. The first is that I helped a friend fix his garbage disposal. Apparently it had been broken for a while. And who knew how to fix it? That's right -- yours truly. Ms. Kick Ass.

THEN, as if that wasn't enough, I figured out how to light the pilot light on my water heater. Now I am sure this is run of the mill stuff for some of you super geniuses, but for this SG, it is not. Let me give you the oh-so-exciting background: I woke up this morning looking forward to a nice warm shower on a cold day, but no, there would be no nice warm shower for Ms. Suzanne today. Today there would only be cold water. I was very upset. I'd just had a plumber out yesterday to hook up a gas line for my new gas fireplace logs, and apparently he did something to unlight my pilot light. I've never lit a pilot light. I've never seen anyone light a pilot light, but low and behold, I did it! Woooohooooo!

The moral of the story? Suzanne kicks a lot of ass. Now you know.

My first post... way back on November 5, 2006...

So, here I am blogging. I'm not sure about the whole blogging thing. It all seems very self-indulgent. Not that me yammering on to my friends about my life isn't self-indulgent, but at least I know they want to hear about it because they've called and asked. I guess no one is forcing you to read this. But the basic premise that I have something intrinsically valuable to say, and that it is of such high worth that it warrants writing down, seems rather presumptuous. And the worst part, of course, is that I am a horrible speller. Like, I have no idea if that is how you spell presumptuous. None. And how embarrassing is that? People assume that if you teach the old writing, surely you must be able to spell, but sadly, I am a very bad speller. Mmmmkay, that is enough self-indulgent prattle for now.