Dating Sucks

Well, I've cancelled my eHarmony subscription. To be honest, it really hasn't lived up to the hype. Perhaps it's just me, but I certainly haven't met anyone I really felt compatible with. I guess having personality types that mesh well together is important, but I'm not sure if that is more important than shared values or interests or say being honest.

I don't understand why honesty is so difficult for some people (I was about to say men when I realized I have no idea if women are online dating liars or not -- I certainly try not to be!). I have been amazed at the number of men I did not recognize when they showed up for our 'meeting.' I am certainly glad that I look like my pictures because otherwise I would have walked right by the majority of the men I've met. I understand the reason for using your best photograph, but it really should look a bit like you!

This, however, is not as disconcerting as the men who lie about their height. I have found that except for the men who are really tall, most men have added an inch or so to their height (or I've grown since the last 5'10" guy I dated). I met a fellow who claimed to be 5'7". This was already a tad short for me. I am 5'6" and ideally I'll meet a guy who is tall enough that I can comfortably wear heels with, but I have been trying to date men I might not normally be interested in, in the hopes of finding someone great (and in an effort to break from type -- clearly the guys I am normally attracted to aren't turning out to be all that great) Anyway, back to the 5'7" guy... or should I say the 5'5" guy. I was taller than him in flip flops - he had on actual shoes, so he was even shorter than he seemed. And he is not the only guy to lie about his height. I just don't get it. Do they think women are so dumb, they won't notice? For me, lying is a big deal breaker, even if it is just about height. Quite frankly, if you are going to lie about something little like that, you are probably lying about something big too.

The shocking thing is many of these guys I'm supposed to fit with personality wise are really not interesting to me in the least. One guy wanted me to know how I felt after two very casual meetings (both an hour long). Not only did he want me to know how I felt, he wanted me to tell him. I didn't know, so I went with "next!" Way to force the issue, dude! Another guy (one of the height liars) was 15 minutes late. If I had not been enjoying my cup of tea (a Pixie Mate Latte actually), I would have already left by the time he showed up. Why was he late? He needed to change his shirt. Oh, yeah, that's worth insulting a prospective date. And then he acted like he was the coolest guy ever, even though he was short AND a big dork. Groan. Then there was the 36 year old who admitted he'd not ever been financially stable enough to own a house. And he went on and on about how he liked to play softball, and wouldn't it have been great if he'd been good enough to play baseball, and on and on. Why admit all your failings right out of the gate? Oh, did I mention he drove a white Mazda Miata? Don't even get me started on cars, but c'mon dude, you drive a girl car.

I realize a lot of this is very superficial, but with each of these men, there hasn't been any sort of connection. Even if short dude #1 hadn't been short and a liar, he still would have pressured me to make a decision. Even if short dude #2 hadn't been short and a liar, he still would have thought changing his shirt was more important that being on time. And even if Mr. Mazda Miata had driven an Accord, he still would have had low self-esteem.

There have been men I've met who were totally honest, looked like their picture, were self-assured, etc, etc, but unfortunately I haven't felt a connection with those guys either. I think I've come to the conclusion that personality isn't that great of a predictor of chemistry.

eHarmony

Well, I clearly am incapable of learning, aren't I?

Here I am again, signed up with an online dating site expecting results to be different than the last, oh, five times I've done it. My faith this time was resting on the simple fact that eHarmony is supposed to be for men and women actually seeking relationships rather than friends to email, hookups, general entertainment and/or members of the opposite sex with whom they could practice their lying. I may have been mistaken.

It seems that no matter the purpose of the dating website or the cost (why, oh why, would anyone spend nearly twice as much to do exactly what they could on match or yahoopersonals???), nearly all dating sites attract idiots, liars, tricksters, stalkers and weirdos. And those members that don't fall into those five categories are men. And we all know that men are intrinsically stupid. They simply can't help it. (Of course, I am also stupid, hence the signing up for dating sites.)

Here are a few rules I would like to put into place:

1. I am an adult. Please treat me as one. If, despite your age, you are not an adult, please don't bother me.
2. Please be forthright. I do not care for ambiguity. My feelings won't be hurt if you are a liar, a child, stupid, etc. Please do not hide these things.
3. Don't play games. Games are only okay if they are played in the living room and require boards. I can guarantee I will not try to trick you or do things on purpose to make you react. Please see number rule number one.
4. Please don't waste my time. If you do not intend on ever actually meeting, please stop emailing me.
5. If you are too busy to date, please don't ask for matches, that is lame. Please refer to rule number four.

I wish I were capable of meeting interesting men out in the real world. The problem is that I see no reason to speak to strangers. Why would I do that? I know the groceries I want, I don't need to discuss them with someone I've never met. I have multiple degrees in Literature; therefore, I feel capable making my own choices at bookstores. In fact, I don't really like strangers. Perhaps my parents went a little overboard with the whole not talking to strangers thing. Damn them (okay, not really).

I swear...

I meet the strangest guys. I don't know quite how I do it, but OH MY GOD. More to come on this later... just needed to get that out!

Election Day

I had a nice realization today while voting. This was by no means the first time I've voted (that was in the 1996 Presidential Election -- back before the Republicans stole America), and the issues on this election day weren't as potentially earth shattering as other elections in which I've cast my ballot; indeed, this was just a local election, but to me it was a big deal. Why? This was the first election in which I felt like a member of the community in which I was voting. I've been transient for so long, and it felt so good to know that my vote may actually affect me.

In my fridge...

Okay, Chip, here you go...

My fridge is really sad. So are my cupboards, as a matter of fact, but here is an exciting list of what is usually in my fridge:

• Organic Hormone Free 1% milk (while I like to support local farmers, I think milk tastes better in cardboard than glass, so I no longer buy Shatto milk)
• Lite Silk Soy milk
• Campo Lindo free range brown eggs
• Misc. cheeses (right now I have two Irish cheeses, Jarlsberg and some organic cheddar)
• Whole Wheat English Muffins
• Whole Wheat Bread
• Butter
• Misc. Jams, but always Polaner All Fruit Apricot and some sort of raspberry. Right now I think I have raspberry pecan
• Fruit and veggies for Spike and Buffy. I always have organic carrots and celery for them (how special those rabbits are!), and I usually have apples too, but I sometimes eat the apples
• I think there are some condiments in there also, but I don't use them regularly

I hope that was exciting for everyone. If any of my fellow bloggers want to make a list of your fridge contents, please do!

Hot Tub Rash

I could suggest you stop reading now, but you already know this post is about a rash, and if you are like me, your curiosity will not allow you to stop reading...

The weekend before last I went to a wedding. After the wedding, soaking in the hot tub seemed like a good idea. Well, it wasn't. There were many signs that soaking in this particular hot tub might not be a good idea. The first was that the water felt more like a bath than a hot tub. The second was that the jets wouldn't start. The third was the murky water. The fourth were the floaters. Finally, after we all dodged a few too many 'hairs,' we thought getting out might be a wise move.

Sadly, it wasn't soon enough. Two days later I discovered I contracted hot tub rash from this lovely hot tub experience. I suppose I should have known I could pick up some sort of nasty from this clearly unclean hot tub water considering the favorite words of bacteria are warm and moist, but I never thought an upscale hotel would have such a grungy hot tub.

Since discovering the rash, I have been regaling party goers with stories of my experience. I know most people might frown on discussing rashes in public, but c'mon, it's a funny story! Along with entertaining many, I have also learned of other gross things you can pick up in poorly cared for hot tubs. Most shocking? Gangrene. Now that is a gross story.

I am now counting my blessings that I just got a rash and not gangrene. I know you are all wondering: I'm all better now, thank goodness.

FYI I don't look like an elf

And even if I do, that is not a good way to hit on me. I'm just saying...